Kikubamutwe: Kansanga’s Village Named After Live-S3x Crazy Men, Latter-day a Notorious Iron-Bar Hitmen`s Den

Kansanga, for sure, is one of Uganda’s renowned headquarters for sex vendors and their clients. By Kansanga, politely understand me to mean places like Kabalagala, Kisugu, Ggaba, and such. I bet no one is going to argue with me by stating that among other things, Kansanga and its environs are famous for the dubious business of sex-vending and purchase.

So much that, I verily suspect, forty percent of the womenfolk in those dwellings happen at, one time or another, to deal in the trade. That is my opinion though. You are entitled to yours as well. Thank you so much. Let me justify myself. Kansanga’s legendary high libido can be attested to by the use of sexual innuendos to name some of its villages. One of such villages is ‘KIKUBAMUTWE’. Old folks divulge the name to be in reference to the past craziness there for live sex. Bluntly put, it was kind of like anathema for men in this locality in the past to wear life-savers before going for romps.

An eighty-year-old John (not real name) confirms the idea that live sex was so fashionable during their heydays that they ended up naming the place Kikubamutwe. “My son, we were so averse to wearing those things (condoms). We wanted it raw and live,” John tells me as he now grins revealing his currently almost empty dental set-up. The longer they would hanker for sex minus a life-saver, John regrets, the more the game maniacs would also end up catching the sexually-linked ailments.

“Syphilis and gonorrhea took its toll on us the menfolk as the crazy for live-sex gained currency,” he reminisces. A candid old man, John confesses to me that he loses count of the rounds he made to Mulago courtesy of the untold urge for the live adult fun. “They were simply too many for an old man like me to remember,” he chuckles as he goes about this interview. In retrospect, John informs me, even if some men would have actually loved to put on the life-savers before going for recreation, the gadgets were simply too few and expensive for a fisherman that he was for many years.

“Those things (he is ashamed to call them by name) were too few unlike today when they are paraded right there on the road for the users to pick and go use them,” the old interviewee recalls. John informs me how Kansanga and its environs have not just become a sex-hub during Joel’s days. “My son, those things (John again shies away from calling a spade a spade) to us was like kind of a sport. To us it was a sport, and to the women, an ever-sure source of live hood,” the elder shares, now shaking with bouts of laughter.

His agemate, Paul (not real name too) has all the time been on the sidelines listening into our conversation with glee. I now turn to Paul for him to throw in a word or two.

Without necessarily rebutting what John has just been telling, but in fact, confirming the same to be legit, Paul gives another version regarding the genesis of the name Kikubamutwe as their village is referred to. “We used in the past to be visited by thugs,” Paul lays what would turn out to be a neat background to his case. Those thugs, he continues, would always arm themselves with clubs or metals. They would use those clubs plus metals to hit their victims on the head instantly killing them, or, completely numbing them in the process.

Thereafter, the thugs would rob properties of the now demised or numbed victims, Paul makes it known. The fact that the thugs would hit their victims on the head ahead of robbing them, is the reason Paul gives, to have led the residents, and others nearby and far, to refer to the locality as Kikubamutwe which, by itself, is an absolutely neat Luganda meaning version. Yet, what had used to be a ramshackle of a village, is currently an enviable one renowned for its loaded residents and superb residences plus environs.

Where yesterday low-key ladies of the vice were roaming, now is operating top-range pudenda vendors. My friends, John and Paul, even if they were still vested with the super libido today, they would simply not be able to pay what it takes to enjoy these ladies.

For, whereas the other ladies used to be amiable to my friends Paul and John’s narrow pockets, their versions of today are not only expensive, but also majority of them can only let down their garbs in exchange for Joe Biden’s currency. Folks, this is what I went and saw in Kansanga’s Kikubamutwe village. And the same is what I have been exactly sharing with you. In the course of the week, I am going to return here to reveal to you another sex-oriented village still nestled away there in Kansanga. Play safe for now. Thank you.

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Stephen Kasozi Muwambi: Mr. Stephen Kasozi Muwambi is a seasoned crime investigative writer, majoring in judicial-based stories. His two decades’ experience as a senior investigative journalist has made him one of the best to reckon on in Uganda. He can also be reached via [email protected]