The Story Between: Ex NUP Diehard and Opposition Gladiator Pens an Open Letter to MP Mathias Mpuuga Over the Supposed Suing of Bobi Wine

A hitherto ardent NUP diehard, going by the name Kaweesa – Kaweesa via his Facebook account, has issued a strongly worded satirical missive to Hon. Mathias Mpuuga, `warning` him of the uphill task ahead, just in case he proceeds to sue NUP Principle, Hon. Robert Kyagulanyi Ssentamu. Below, we reproduce the letter.

Dear Hon. Mathias Mpuuga

I write to you with both concern and bemusement. News has reached us that you intend to drag the invincible political gladiator H.E. Robert Kyagulanyi Ssentamu into the same courtroom corridors where logic, law, and reality often part ways, over claims he made implicating you in the arrest of political activists.

Your courage is noted. Your trust in the justice system is admirable. But before you proceed to compile affidavits, procure witnesses, or dust off your black suit for court theatrics, allow me, as a humble spectator of Uganda’s political circus, to offer a word of unsolicited but necessary caution: I say this with all due respect: Are you really ready to sue Uganda’s most courtroom-immune politician?

You see, the man you seek to sue is not a common theatre actor. He is Bobi Wine, Uganda’s courtroom Houdini, a master of legal disappearance whose record is dotted with unfinished files, whispered adjournments, and ghosted magistrates. A man by all judicial standards known in Uganda, is untouchable even before he became a law graduate (Is it Cavendish University, I hope you know?)

You may file, serve, and shout, but when it comes to Bobi Wine, court files either vanish, stall eternally after mention, or close without ceremony. You’re not suing a man. You’re suing a myth, a well-polished illusion, a state-managed character who has built an entire political brand without a single concluded court case.

Allow me to refresh your memory: 1. The OTT Protest Arrest: (2018) He was arrested demonstrating in Kampala over the social media tax. Taken to court amid chants of “People Power!” The charge? Public nuisance. The outcome? Unknown. It was mentioned and abandoned like a script from a poorly edited movie.

2. Luuka District Arrest: (2020) Another dramatic moment during the 2020 campaign. Bobi was violently arrested for allegedly violating COVID-19 regulations. A case was filed, mentioned, and again disappeared into thin air.

3. The Arua Treason Case: (2019), his driver was killed, the country went up in flames, and Bobi, battered and bruised, was dramatically presented before a Gulu magistrate. It felt like the start of a landmark trial. But what followed? Nothing. No hearing. No ruling. No official closure. The state, which once screamed treason, simply went quiet. The case dissolved, not by acquittal, but by silence. We thereafter saw him under the guard of SFCS, later a party with deployed service men in position, foot soldiers relieved of duty to guard him henceforth.

4. The 2021 Presidential Petition: In a historic moment, Bobi Wine filed a petition challenging the presidential election, backed by video evidence, affidavits, and public outrage. But when Ugandans looked to the courts for justice, Bobi withdrew the petition, declaring instead that he would take the matter to “the people’s court”—a structureless, location-less body whose sittings are neither recorded nor reported. In essence, he gifted Museveni a five-year term without judicial scrutiny!.

5. The Kibalama/NUP Ownership Case: (2023) Founders of the very party he leads accused him of fraud and breach of agreement. They dragged him to court. What became of that case? Silence. The kind that erases history even Kibalama was totally silenced beyond a mention.

In contrast, consider Dr. Kizza Besigye, the man who pioneered active opposition. Since 2001, Besigye has never known peace in the legal system. From treason to terrorism to inciting violence, he is never more than a few weeks away from a court summons as if its part of his retirement plan. Some of his cases date as far back as 2006. He is often paraded through courts, not for justice, but for punishment.

The state seems more determined to break Besigye through perpetual court appearances than to ever conclude a single case against Bobi Wine! Maybe Bobi’s unblemished judicial record is not due to his invincibility, but to the invisible protection, Besigye lacks.

So, dear Hon. Mpuuga, do you really intend to sue this man? The man whose cases vanish faster than UPDF accountability? The man who can shift a national petition into a virtual Court with a single Facebook post? Note before you file the case that: You are filing against a man immune to court significance, else you are offering yourself for ridicule in a stage-managed game between the state and its favourite actor.

Instead, I advise you to consider filing your case directly in the Court of Public Confusion, where most of Bobi cases seem to end up anyway. Better still, take it direct to the ‘People’s Court’. Their Judgement delays, but it’s delivered over time… baawula ekituufu ku kikyaamu… (They can tell a right from the wrong). Therefore, proceed with wisdom. And if you must sue, PREPARE FOR A PERFORMANCE NOT JUSTICE.

Yours in Political Amusement,
Kaweesa – Kaweesa

(Phd. Ugandan Political Theatricals)