Many will not like what I say herein! Yet, it is an undeniable truth. Jordan Ssebuliba, the ambition, greed and gluttony, is Frankenstein’s monster; his father filling the shoes of Dr. Victor Frankenstein. It is the parent’s actions – not intentions – that mould the child.
A newborn’s potential is unknown and unlimited; possibilities unfathomable! If a Ganda boy is born in Shanghai and taught the ways of the tribe/family into which he is born; shall we expect that boy to somehow be familiar with the Ganda ways? Personalities are not genetic; they are not innate. One’s nature is nurtured! That Ganda boy will speak Chinese and will be clueless about his ancestral culture. Thus, it is logical to posit that Hitler was not born a murderous psychopath! Similarly, crucifying Jordan should be done cautiously! Although, at his age, he ought to have aligned his morals with what’s agreeable, the misalignment was not all his own doing.
Mohan Kiwanuka is a known polygamous man! He was with his first partner long enough to beget offspring. Then, he went on to marry the second wife. Islam limits a man to four wives whereas tradition gives no limit! On the face of the facts, he did not marry Beatrice; his first partner. This was thwarted by the woman’s father when Kiwanuka and his sister had gone to seek his blessing. As such, the two simply cohabited until the relationship broke down. Therefore, Kiwanuka has only one wife; unless the word is given new meaning from its conventional one.
The rule in Islam is that the man can have more than one wife if he can properly take care of them. The question then is; what care is talked of here? I do not claim to know but I’ll talk of care in two forms; material and the kind that affects the mind! It’s indisputable that Kiwanuka could provide for as many as eight wives if he wished; this emperor has an empire of 33 creditworthy companies. But whether Kiwanuka can provide the psychological and emotional care that is also necessary for intimate human relations is debatable!
Enter the failed state of fatherhood in our society! Even Christian men openly cheat on their wives, just as many wives of the same affiliation do. But here, I talk of men and our infidelities! Even when we’re bound by religion and oaths, we still openly boast about having many women and this behaviour is condoned by our peers. Of course, it’s unlikely that one who sleeps about will attract the kind of friends that would condemn him. So, there are types in society that condone infidelity. Truly, I tell you, there is a price paid for this degradation! It is denial to think that its without consequence.
A study of the aggressors in mass shootings in America revealed a common thread. There was always a missing father figure or a missing father all together! To clarify, a man may be absent even when present. A child’s mind is affected more by what is seen than what is heard. Only a fool should think that auditory lessons on life carry more impact that the visual lessons children get through observing their environs. Many men fool themselves into thinking that as long as financial aid is given, their children should want for nothing!
We can endlessly rant about how unfortunate Kiwanuka was to have begotten a son who became a glutton. Truly, Jordan was Mohan’s own creation! To purge society of the gluttonous entitled generation of which I am a part, we must look to parentage. We cannot keep blaming children for what they are without considering the fact that we mould them. That’s analogous to the bad workman and his tool! Men must realize, though I doubt the ability of our wits in this regard, that dysfunctional relations beget dysfunctional offspring. This is the generation of daddy issues. When we see Jordan’s attempt to dethrone his father, we should see a lad with so many daddy issues!
Now, I do not think that children should justify their wrongs with inefficient parentage. Humans are blessed with reason as opposed to mere instinct. We have the ability to tell right from wrong. Thus, when a boy becomes a man, the rebuttable presumption is that he can use his judgment to re-orient his being to satisfy general moral tenets. There comes a time in life when we must evaluate every lesson we’ve ever learned and weigh it against moral values determined by faith/religion, culture and social consensus. In so doing, one must learn new virtues, relearn the good ones already taught and unlearn those which are detrimental to one’s own moral stability! The other reason this is necessary is that as a child, it is easy to misconstrue what you see and thereby pick the wrong lesson.
In my view, Jordan, like many people, failed to do this. He lacked the intellect to reform his nature in alignment with sensible values. He took to heart what he’d already learned and did not question the viability of his actions in light of the general good. I think this is to be expected from a son whose lessons were learned from the actions of a successful businessman. It is necessary to note that even if Mohan had done everything right, the vicious nature of the business world involves actions and omissions that are easily misconstrued by a child.
Parenting is one of the most difficult tasks any human has. We have so little instinct, if any, overshadowed by reasoning; learning for human minds is difficult, diverse and happens over so long a period of time that it takes a toll on the teacher. In fact, learning for a human being lasts a lifetime! Yet most importantly, I think that when it comes to teaching as a parent, the actions are much more crucial than the intention!
Though I pity Mzee Mohan Kiwanuka in his plight, I’m not all too sympathetic. The less a parent is in a child’s life, the more room there is for the world to teach him or her all the wrong lessons. For me, Jordan is a tale of the consequences of our failure to question our values and very being; we live on in a delirium wherein we are the source of our own morals. Everything we do is right and justified; it’s a tale of woo! In any case, I’ll have my own children who I’ll somehow ruin and they, in turn, shall drive me nuts!
- Joel Kenneth Ndawula is a Student of Law at Uganda Martyrs University Nkozi. He is an inspired writer, the editor and author here; a blogger of sorts.
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