Time immemorable, Judicial Officials, especially the top ones always seen in robes and hoods, were viewed by public members as `extraordinary humans` whose character was only left for imaginations.
It is was not until recently, upon Rt. Hon. Speaker Jacob Oulanyah’s demise when, the Chief Justice, Owiny Dollo made heavily emotional, tribal and personal outbursts. So disgusting the outbursts were, that after a second thought, probably driven by public outcry, he bowed out of his robes, withdrew the same before physically going to Mengo to deliver his apologies to the Kabaka of Buganda Kingdom.
Upon enthronement of Oulanyah`s successor, Rt. Hon. Anita Among at Kololo, President Museveni mocked the judges’ dress code, by lightly referring to their Hoods as `useless`. The President became the first leader ever, at least to our best knowledge, to `look down` on Judges in public.
Are these guys not `extraordinary humans` as we always harbored! We went down to work. They are indeed, not super human. They do normal things others do and among them, sex scandals topped our heap of escapades gathered from the corridors of the Temples of Justice.
Our probe led us to a chilly story of how these learned men and women in the white wigs take breaks from the long-winded court sessions, reading law books as well as writing judgments, and engage in adult fun with each other.
For this matter, we sought out an insider to tell us more about what goes on behind the walls of judges’ chambers. Fortunately, the source was privy to some of these top sex-escapades and was willing to spill the beans. “If walls could see and speak, they would reveal a lot of strange things which take place behind the closed doors of judges’ chambers,” the impeccable source started.
We prod him to tell us what else takes place behind closed doors of judges apart from reading law books and writing judgments. “Sex…. yes. Sex goes on in there….my friend” he murmurs before breaking into a hilarious laugh. He references many such sex escapades. But we shall mention one. This one involved a male judge and a female colleague.
The man has since retired while the woman is currently on offshore judicial duties. As per our source, the male judge is a towering and well-built gentleman. Whilst, the female judge is a gorgeously brown faced fairer gender. Both learned people hail from the central region.
This insider source reveals how the gentleman would leave his chambers for those of the Lady colleague. The two would go on to spend quality hours together in-there. “The woman would return the favor on other days. There was no mistaking…. the two adults were in madly and deep in love. They had grown so daring that they would leave together, using one car.”
A lawyer talking to us in confidence, jokingly confirmed what our source revealed to us. “I know them…. yes, they were locking themselves up inside each other’s office.” He further quips, “but one ugly thing, they were sharing on how to write judgments… What do you want to know… these were two adults chatting up each other!”
Lest these two adults tango detain us here, let us delve into the big story of the day. This porno-award-winning story unfolded about ten years ago. The plot starts with one of the top judicial officials working at Kampala High court, cornering a girl.
The girl serves tea to judges, away from cleaning their chambers. The horny learned fella is on a serious mission of ‘chewing’ the poor girl. But the little creature isn’t by now aware at all, of what is going on in the boss’ twisted medulla oblongata.
The reality of the matter would dawn on the girl when the man asks her, “to please take me on a tour of the southern hemisphere.” The girl flatly rejects the judicial officer’s amorous advances. Yet the guy insists on fulfilling his penile desires by hook or crook! The man from the Bamasaaba land (Elgon region) is so daring that he goes on to disrobe the tea girl right there inside the Chief Justice’s office!
Before she would know it and without her consent, the hitherto Deputy Registrar had lifted her and placed her on the Chief`s office desk! As she was trying to figuring out what was going on, the man quickly launched his weapon deep into her! He was now pumping away, just like a donkey high on libido!
Being in such a deranged shape of mind, the horny guy forgets to wear a CD before slipping into the valley of joy. He thus ends up impregnating the tea girl. The girl would later inform him about the pregnancy. But he would respond by dodging her while fervently swearing by the living gods, to never sire a child with a tea girl!
The girl cools off until she gives birth to a bouncing baby boy. She returns to the judge to ask him to take care of the fruits of his penile escapades. The judge not only disowns the baby, but also starts threatening how he is going to deal with the poor soul for ‘shaming’ him among colleagues!
Stuck, the girl breaks the news to the judge’s colleagues. The judges including the Chief Justice, are alarmed beyond words by what their colleague did. They try to prevail over him to take care of the baby, if only to spare them the embarrassment of his folly. The judge refuses to budge. But he foolishly accepts to the advice of subjecting him and the child to the DNA Test! How could this man expect the DNA test to return negative results, yet he jiggled his productive weapon deep into the girl`s southern hemisphere, minus any tribe of protection!
Well, the DNA results returned, declaring the child as that of the Judge. The results put the judge’s parentage of the child at a whopping 99.9 percent! This is when he regained his senses and asked to be allowed to take care of the child so as to retain his job.
But his scandal had embarrassed the institution of the judiciary. So, the bosses told the man to try elsewhere! This marked the end of his high drama episode. Another story is of a top Judge who, up to this day, nurses an itchy scar on his neck, as a result of annoying a side dish in the name of saving his marriage! Watch this space…
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