Personal Experience: An Agonizing Story of a relative whose brother committed suicide due to Mental Illness

Mental Health is a Journey not a Destination

By Joan Atuhwera

“I just didn’t want to live any more, I was happy to die at 27. I was happy to finish, that was it, nothing, nobody could bring me back, not my wife and or even kids. I didn’t care about anything. Every day I woke up I just wanted to die,” Professional boxer Tyson opened up about his mental health. It’s a crazy way to be only people, who understand like who`s been through depression and all sort of stuff, will understand what Tyson is saying.

When you’re so down and every day you wake up even if its sunshine, its grey and you’re negative all the time, you’re infectious, you infect people who are around you, you make them negative and down. And you push everybody away, you just want to be left alone like in a dark corner and left alone. If you had your arm chopped off and people could see it and they know you got a proper injury but with being mentally unwell, you can’t see in someone’s brain.

So, I could be here now and I look okay but I could be hearing voices in my mind or I could be going back and forth with my own self. It’s one of the worst things that could ever happen to you. Nothing can never compare with mental health struggle. A lot of men don’t speak about this though a lot of them suffer in silence.

One of my brother’s best friends, committed suicide. The last time, I was with him we were celebrating, and he was so happy, but then a few days later, he committed suicide. What beats me is that I was always with him on a daily basis, yet I didn’t see it coming! So that’s how I know it’s important for anyone to talk about it, or tell someone or going to therapy, there’s nothing wrong with that because I genuinely didn’t see anything wrong with him until he committed suicide.

I don’t know what better way to describe suicide than an easy way to escape an emotional pain, if not the easiest way. Of course, the dictionary definition would be talking of one’s life voluntarily and intentionally because of struggling with mental health. Want to know someone who is suicidal? Look out for the following signs, sudden calmness after an episode of depression, withdrawing from others, showing self-harmful behavior, talking about attempts of suicide in the past. These can be anywhere and it could be anyone even yourself. Pointing a finger at them wouldn’t be helpful, rather hold out your hand and offer help. Remember it’s okay to not be okay. But remember it’s never okay to suffer in silence.