Thursday With Joan A Bonny: For those familiar with Kisaasi Roundabout – Ntinda stretch, the Ntinda cross junction traffic lights tend to hold a little longer, drivers from Kisaasi side, hence, sometimes creating a long line of cars. Today as we slowly and patiently moved towards the junction, one driver behind felt inconvenienced and, off he elected to overtake the snaky line, another felt the same, then another and another, creating two lanes in the process and hence, blocking the oncoming traffic! It took us more time than it would, if we all patiently moved in unison.
Reaching Centenary Bank branch in Ntinda, I placed for my token. 278 it was. The banking hall was unusually fully packed. As I sat patiently, I noticed a swelling line at Teller 5 booth. It didn’t require rocket science to know why! The lady behind the mic announcing the next customer had long lost her `speed-governor` and, her tongue seems to have stopped at `Teller 5`. Here, she directed ten customers when other tellers were almost empty of work!
However, even when one would notice that where s/he had been directed is still engaged, they all stood up and each, struggled to be the first to get the service, irrespective of the systematically self-explanatory token numbers! Each of them felt entitled to the N0. One slot for service. The sense of entitlement is a personality trait that is based on the belief that someone deserves special treatment or recognition over others, for something they didn’t earn.
In other words, people with this mindset believe that the world owes them. This stance, without them ever giving anything in return. The sense of entitlement that is seen in children is not always negative. Throughout the stages of development, children depend on their caregivers. However, as they grow older and independent, wanting other people’s help, it becomes less practical and takes away from working toward self-sufficiency.
Children in the most recent generation of adults born between 1982 and 1995, were raised to believe that its their right to have everything given to them more than any other previous generation. Two separate recent incidents serve us with a difference between the said generation. One which is mad about the `its mine [or] s/he is mine` syndrome, and one where the `mine` belief did not exist at all.
The Pretty Nicole tormenters: For a sick belief, Kaftah Queen deserves the punishment herself. Yes, let her face it for leading a bunch of friends to inflict injurious beatings on 15-year-old Pretty Nicole on 8th January this year. With her accomplices still at large, she deserved facing a capital offense of aggravated torture. All this was in the name of entitlements of love and relationship for a man – her boyfriend Derick Lwanga.
With her belief to guard `her man` against her female counterpart, she ended up turning Nicole into a punching bag before she could end herself in jail. Queen Kaftah, 18, is one of the girls who appeared in a video violently assaulting a colleague over a man. She has since been charged and remanded to Luzira government prison. Kaftah accused Nicole of betraying their friendship by loving her boyfriend. This, after she found Nicole at Lwanga`s place. Do humans really need to get to that extreme over something or someone as if you were entitled to have them?
For the burnt couple: On Saturday morning, social media was awash with photos and video of the alleged arson. A man and a woman had been burnt to death by another friend-woman. Imagine causing such a degree of pain, first to the victims before they died off finally, and the families they were coming from.
Before she even thought she had sole entitlements to her love with Kajumba, did she first think that her victims Patricia and Kajumba too, had entitlements to life before thinking of fire as a possible punishment to the alleged cheating couple! Fair people, lets continue being fair to our own selves and, two, to others. You cannot tell me you are entitled to one’s own life and commit such grave mistake. Are you out of your senses?
Well, investigations are still on but if detectives found out this woman as the orchestrator of the fire that burnt her cousin and boyfriend, only God would pass the judgement. To wrap up, you can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. So, tip your waiter generously, smile and ask how your barista`s day was, and give up your seat to the elderly lady on the subway. The aim of treating others with respect and kindness isn’t to be better than entitled people that misses the point. Instead, it’s to make everyone`s day a little better, which, ironically, is exactly how to gain true admirers.
The main take away: We have all met people who have a sense of entitlement. Maybe it’s that person who tried to cut in front of you at the coffee shop. Perhaps it was someone who demanded to be seated before you at a busy restaurant, without reservation. Simply, people with entitlement think the rules don’t apply to them. Contentment is powerful and necessary to live life to the fullest. Identify entitled behavior in those closest to you as well as yourself. Teach and practice humility by focusing on all the gifts and blessings you have. Lead by example and treat others with love and respect. In a worst-case example, you may have to practice tough love and walk away from bad behavior and help others by modeling the behavior you want to see.
- Joan Atuhwera is a Business Administration Graduate, a Human Rights activist and writer with over five years’ experience in pursuing justice for others via her keyboard. She can also be reached via email: [email protected] or WhatsApp +256774334595
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