You see a vibrant, intelligent, hardworking, enterprising, successful young woman and because you were not raised to think a woman should be all that and more, you start unleashing your insecurities on, by telling them to go and, or get married. And in your own right, you think you are sensible.
Come-on guys, Marriage is not for everyone. It’s a personal choice, period. “Honey, you do not need to be bringing a batch of rolls dessert to thanks giving dinner, you need a wedding ring on your finger and a husband” … “Dude, you do not be coming here with a dog, you need a woman on your arms,” … “you need to get a life and get married” … “He/she is almost 30 and they are not married. I wonder what is wrong with them?” … “You are not married; you must be so lonely and feel miserable and so on….
The above are just some of the comments I have heard from other individuals who have recited stories of rude, arrogant, opinionated individuals ranging from relatives, friends, acquaintances and in some cases, total strangers. To be sure human beings are an intensely opinionated species. This is particularly true when it comes to marriage.
Truth to be told, historically speaking, previous generation put so much effort and investment into the institution of marriage due to a plethora of factors. For many women, marriage was a bridge to degree of stability. Opportunities for women in the workforce were limited. Some professions were off limits and being married to an upwardly mobile husband was often one of the few paths of financial stability.
Fortunately, today, this is no longer the case for sizable growing percentage of women. There are other people who feel that they are less than complete without a committed partner. They see marriage as making them legitimate. Despite whatever level of drama or dysfunction prevalent, they will remain in such a relationship. Some of this is also due to being insure of fearful or being alone.
When it comes to marriage, this society makes it look as if it’s a must for everyone. Marriage is not for everybody; this is why so many people are living with men and women they couldn’t stand. They don’t want to be in a union, yet they are in it just to please family members and society. I don’t blame them. With the many tales of woes, we hear every day from married couples, these people just don’t want to disrupt their lives or get entangled with the wrong person. It doesn’t make sense to live under the same roof with someone you don’t want to be with. That’s lying to yourself.
This is why I find it so funny when young ladies who have everything going for them are hounded to go and get married. People make it look as if a woman is not complete without marriage. This is a big lie; they try to belittle these women’s achievements by throwing the go and get married card in their faces. It’s funny really.
You see a vibrant, intelligent, hardworking, enterprising, successful young woman and because you were not raised to think a woman should be all that and more, you start unleashing your insecurities on, by telling her to go and get married. And you think that you are sensible! A woman herself is a complete being. if she’s going into marriage, it must be that she loves the man in question, they have the same values, they agree on certain key issues about life, love, relationship and marriage and they want to spend their lives together.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment and if you plan on taking that vow, take it seriously. Don’t go into marriage because of society pressure and start making your spouse’s life miserable. Be true to yourself and be honest to your partner. The fact is that not everyone needs to be or even should get married. For those of you who feel the need to inject your thoughts into the lives of other people’s relationship status, unless they solicit your advice, mind your own business and tend to your own affairs! Period.
- Joan Atuhwera is a Business Administration Graduate, a Human Rights activist and writer with over five years’ experience in pursuing justice for others via her keyboard. She can also be reached via email: [email protected] or WhatsApp +256774334595
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